drenched in vanilla twilight
by gryffindorkxx
Summary: Her future had always been written in the stars, but it wasn't until him that she really questioned it.


**This has been sitting in my computer for the longest time and I figured I might as well share it.**

 **See below for a note on she/he pronouns used in the story. Regardless, I hope you like it.**

* * *

She often wakes up at 2am. She figures since she's the moon princess it just makes sense.

Some nights she still wakes up in a sweat, expecting to transform and fight whatever new evil that would come up. It's been a thousand years and she still remembers every single thing. Her mind replays her friends' sacrifices, the Starlights getting hurt, finding out Mamo-chan died at Galaxia's hands—there's still a part of her that expects no one to be there when she wakes up.

But there always is. Mamo-chan's always asleep next to her, everyone's somewhere in the castle dreaming away, and she lives in a world where Chibiusa still exists in their own Crystal Tokyo.

 _Her own Crystal Tokyo._

She and Mamo-chan built their own kingdom from the rubble, fulfilled their destinies as Princess-turned-Neo-Queen Serenity and Prince-turned-King Endymion, had their lovely daughter, and continue to rule and protect over the Earth as its fated guardians.

(And she feels a longing, a faint tinge of regret that she grew up too soon, too quickly into exactly what she was meant to do without any regard as to if she even wanted it—if she even had a choice in the first place.)

She sits up in bed, shaking her head to clear it and softly smiles down at Mamo-chan (he would always just be Mamo-chan to her) with baby Chibiusa on his chest, both fast asleep. She makes an effort to quietly get up and not wake them up, putting a jacket on to sneak out of the castle.

No one knows she sneaks out, and she'd prefer to keep it that way. It was one of the few times no one expected her to be anything—whether it be Sailor Moon, or now Neo-Queen Serenity. She could be just a girl, staring up at the endless night sky, almost comforted in her momentary insignificance.

(She thinks of a time she was underneath the same stars on a different bench. Just two kids, staring at the lights shining above them.)

She pays special attention to a particular star just to the left of the moon, and her mind wanders as it usually does when it comes to her.

Her future had always been written in the stars, but it wasn't until her that she really questioned it. ( _"Am I not good enough?"_ still echoes quietly in her mind, pierces her heart with nostalgia and mourning over a future she could've had, had she chosen it.)

And she stops herself from thinking too much about it because of how ungrateful she seems of the way things worked out—that after being the Chosen One and fighting for all their futures, here she was wishing she wasn't chosen at all.

She looks back at the star twinkling and thinks of her.

 _Seiya…_

She whispers the name like a prayer, though she's not sure what she's praying for anymore. She can almost see his smile, feel his arms around her, hear him whisper in that voice she realized he only used when it came to her. It warms her up under the chilly moonlight, brings the ghost of a smile to her face with the thought of them centuries ago.

"Odango…"

The voice startles her, making her instinctively clench her fist with her transformation mantra in her mouth before she recognizes him.

"Seiya?" She blinks, "W-What are you doing here?"

"You called," he shrugs.

She smiles with tears in her eyes, about to run into his arms but thinks better of it. He's dressed smartly, in the red casual suit that only Seiya would wear when he was part of the Three Lights, looking exactly like how she remembers him all those years ago.

"You've grown up," he smiles, "Neo-Queen Serenity."

"I'm still Usagi, just older and not as clumsy. I have the odango to prove it."

Being next to her makes it seem like no time at all had passed, like they had just fought together and he had fallen in love with her the other day. He takes in the sight of her, her blonde odango slightly mussed and her blue eyes still timeless, which makes his heart squeeze.

"Why did you call?"

She thinks about it before answering. She wondered how she was doing? She was questioning her entire destiny? She thought about a future where she could choose her and they would figure it out together instead of the stars writing it out for them?

"I just wanted to see you. I missed you so much." She admits shyly.

"I missed you too, Odang—Serenity."

She realizes she's dressed in some royal nightgown Serenity would wear and almost feels unrecognizable. It's only now she notices he's not dressed as Fighter, which confuses her for a bit until she realizes she called Seiya, not Fighter—which is enough for her to tackle Seiya with a hug.

"Are you okay?" He whispers, rubbing her back gently.

She nods against his chest, still not letting go and he revels in this moment, keeps it in his mind—until she breaks it, and they're sitting next to each other on the bench, staring up at the sky. It feels like it's been hours since they've sat there, just soaking in each other's company when she breaks the silence.

"Do you still think of me?" She ventures timidly.

He's about to respond but she cuts him off, "Because I still think of you. And I know it's been centuries and we're all grown up, but whenever I see that star, it reminds me of when we weren't Sailor Moon and Fighter, we were just two kids."

He wants nothing more but to kiss her right there, but he settles for putting a hand on top of hers. "All the time, Odango. I always think of you."

Her eyes turn even bluer when she smiles, tears gently streaming down her face, which he wipes away. He softly laughs, "For a Queen, you're still such a crybaby."

Which only makes her cry even more into his chest, as he rubs her back shushing her to calm her down. He's not sure why she's crying or why she called, but she did and all that matters is him being with her in this moment.

"Why did you come? After all these years, why did you still come?" She says in between sniffles.

"Because I will always come for you," he confesses in a whisper, so low only the two of them can hear, "I will always come for you when you need me."

His words speak an implicit _I love you_ and pierces her heart even more, knowing that she still held his heart after all this time. She wishes she could say her own _I love you_ to him, but anything she'd say would just feel inadequate and unfair to him.

She settles for "Thank you," which isn't enough, would never be enough for Seiya, but he knows and he's thankful for it regardless.

"Now, Odango, let's talk about why you really called me though."

She blushes, staring down at her feet swinging back and forth on the bench, unsure how to go about explaining her thoughts. They had never really been the type to have heart-to-heart conversations, but she feels like he's a piece of home, another reminder of a simpler time when all that she worried about was the next time she could get to see him behind everyone's backs.

"I'm just having some … regrets," she sighs, "I don't know if regret is the right word, just some daydreams about a different future for me. Or rather, one that I choose to make instead of being assigned to it."

He sits there and ponders it, "Isn't the whole point about the future that your choices determine where you end up?"

"I thought so, maybe it's like that for other people, just not for me … I've always known where I was going to end up. For so long, I always thought I wanted it, and I am happy where I've ended up … but I never knew I'd question it so much."

He tries to gulp the question back but it's on his tongue, begging to be asked. "Am I in that future?"

She looks at him wistfully, a soft smile on her face with the moonlight hitting her in just the right way. He captures it in his mind, a moment of time he'd keep just for himself to remember, left in the ignorance for the moment—where either answer was a possibility, unsure which one he'd rather hear her say.

"Sometimes you are," she smiles, "I wonder what would've happened if we had just run away together."

His heart swells at the tiny glimmer of hope. The words "So let's do it," are about to escape his lips, but he thinks better of it: she's got everything and he already knows no amount of daydreams will change her decision.

"You probably would've tripped as soon as we started running," he smirks.

She laughs a little bit, wipes her tears away, still glancing at the floor before finally meeting his eyes. "We would've been so happy … I could've been so happy with you."

"I know," he grimaces, thinking of a time when he wasn't a soldier looking for a princess, but just a boy who accidentally fell in love with a girl he could never have. "In another life maybe."

"In another universe," she says, "I ended up with you."

"Just not this one."

They both sigh, their hands finding each other and clasping together, holding on tightly until the moment where they would both have to let go.

"I'm sorry, Seiya. I'm sorry for this," Her blue eyes fill with tears again, spilling over on her cheeks, "It's been centuries and I'm bringing this up and it makes no sense and I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, I got to see you again. I got to know how you really felt." He wipes her cheeks with his sleeve, "I don't regret anything, Odango. I regret nothing about you."

She's crying into his chest, overwhelmed by how she remembers being in his arms. _Mamo-chan's warmth but a different scent and none of his sweetness..._ not in a bad way, just different than what she's used to (and she doesn't seem to mind for now).

"It's almost light out," he whispers into her ear after what feels like hours of her softly crying against his chest, eventually fading into him just holding her. "You should get some sleep."

It takes some time for her to respond—enough that he wonders if she's already fallen asleep—but he gets a nod from her, face still buried in his chest not wanting to let go.

She pulls away finally, blue eyes meeting blue. "Thank you for coming. Thank you for always being out there."

"I always will be," he promises, knowing that this moment will be his closure though it won't stop her from having a piece of his heart, whether she asked for it or not.

They get up from the bench, walking side by side back to the palace doors until they need to say goodbye.

"Just so you know," she says quietly, "You've always been more than good enough."

His heart squeezes and leaps in his chest at the same time. "Odango…"

"Really, I don't deserve you. But I'm so happy you're here." She smiles, placing a chaste kiss on his cheek, "Come back soon, okay?"

He grins. "Of course, see you next time."

She walks back in, closing the door quietly behind her, while his eyes stay on her, taking a picture in his mind as a souvenir of this moment. Neither of them are sure when next time is, but this encounter was enough for him to replay in his head; as he disappears in a flash of bright light to the star just to the left of the sunrise.

* * *

 **Note: for ease of pronouns, I used He to refer to Seiya/Fighter in this. Not to misgender or anything, I am fully aware Fighter is originally female; however, just to use Fighter's human form of Seiya (who was a man) who was considerably more interactive/close to Usagi, which makes it easier to identify who is being referred to using different pronouns.**

 **Reviews and Favorites are always appreciated.**


End file.
